‘Dinner’s ready!’ The holler carries through the house as you set the dinner table.
The reply… silence.
So you knock on bedroom doors. Stand in front of the TV. Turn down the music. Or sign language that it’s dinnertime to one of the family member’s chatting animatedly on the phone.
Eventually, like a herd of water buffalos bolting for the nearest billabong, they come to the table.
| “…like a herd of water buffalo bolting for the nearest billabong, they come to the table.”
With their phones.
Or their tablets.
Or laptops.
Yep, all of us were staring at our individual Tech-gadgets over dinner, with the excuses like:
‘I’ve got this assignment to finish.’
‘There’s a silent auction on that gadget I’ve got to have.’
‘Let me get these emails outta the way…’
And the list goes on and on.
But our dinner was being invaded by technology!!
It was like a crack in the table that grew and grew splitting the timbers, no one saw it coming.
Especially me.
Phones were being used at dinner. All. The. Time.
And in my household, I’m the worst offender! (*As I hang my head low.)
Hey, I’m not the only one when we’re all plugged in. Consistently.
I’ll admit, I was the worst culprit in my household.
As the worst culprit, I was always checking emails over breakfast. Lunchtime I’d chow down on whatever I’d made while scrolling on social media. At night, I was editing.
On New Year’s Eve, we discussed our INTENTIONS (oh yeah, we killed that word resolutions coz it never works, everrrr) and the family requested more me-time with me!
Aww! Gotta luv the little gems.
Until my overactive creative mind kicked in with a double dose of suspicion. What did they want from me? What was their ulterior motive? A lift to a party? Money? Or some note to get out of gym class, again?
Nope.
They just wanted quality time.
That’s when we decided as a family to disconnect to reconnect.
| “…we decided as a family to disconnect to reconnect.”
Did that make sense?
We brought the old-fashioned mealtime moments back into play by turning the tables to sit and eat together like a family free from technology.
How barbaric, right?
But we went there and made the rule of…
No phones at the table. Simple.
That included no tablets and no laptops. (And all eyes were on me about the laptop, again!)
Okay, music was allowed — but no table-top-dancing, in case you’re wondering—but it did lead to, ‘hey, listen to what I found on my playlist.’ And a lot of other amazing conversations.
It’s done wonders having that simple hour of family time. It helped us escape the stresses of our work and school schedules for just a moment as we talked about the dramas in our day, hoping to form some sort of resolution. Did that word ‘R’ we killed earlier, sneak back in!
And, as much as they hate to hear about my writing, they’re also my greatest helpers when my new book characters become the talk of the table.
We created our own home phone etiquette for the family table.
Wiping the table clean, it was to be a no phone at the table rule. Simple, huh?
You’d think.
Trying to ban the phone from the dinner table was huge. It had become a condiment that sat next to the salt and pepper, such as, ‘pass the sauce and watch out for my phone.’
And like modern-day knights brandishing butter knives around our small round table, we came up with a new concept to suit us!
| “And like modern-day knights brandishing butter knives around our small round table, we came up with a new concept…”
The notable (he-he) mentions are:
If a phone rings— and only if it’s important—to answer it we have to leave the room.
If it isn’t important, the phone stays on silent, in your bag on the bench and left behind until after dinner. I mean, come on, it’s only an hour, right?
We agreed to define what is important. Such as, if I have a phone interview—due to time zones— I have to take it. Otherwise, leave a message and we’ll get back to you.
Who said it’s rude to have a phone at the table anyway?
Talking on the phone during a meal shows your dinner guests that they don’t matter. So, yeah, it’s rude… unless you’re dining solo or waiting for your dinner date in a restaurant that’s different.
‘Apparently, the Pope in his New Year speech asked for families to communicate with each other by putting their phones away,’ so said the teenager, researching phone etiquettes on her phone at our dinner table!!
She stammered, stopped her scroll, promptly dropping her phone. Facedown.
Of course, it soon became a snatch and grab for the phone to find out why it had suddenly become a hot potato.
Her scrolling had discovered a nifty mother had generated a ‘Gadget Prison’ for phones. It’s where you pay to get their phone back from the cage if you break the no phone at the table rule.
I’d go broke if we had one!
Then there is this little etiquette gem courtesy of the Washing Post:
Q: Is it okay to put your phone on the table at a dinner party?
A: No. There is no place in a place setting for your phone. The dinner table is the most important social ritual that we engage in with others. We should concentrate on that. Phones should be off.
The right to remain silent!?
Well, I voted for silence. Err, I mean, putting the phone on silent, at least.
Not to point the fork at anyone, but who hates hearing the buzz or those pesky message pings from others during the main course?
Oh, but when it’s your phone, it’s like an itch you want to scratch dying to know who and what it is!
Are you nodding with me?
Tech-breaks before dessert!
It’s a thang!
It was a question tabled (ha), about having a tech-break between the main meal and dessert!
I’ll admit to doing a sneaky peek when heading to the restrooms during dinner at a restaurant.
Yet, I was doing this at home. All. The. Time. What sort of example was I setting? Ugh!
It’s family time. Dinner time. But the excuse was we’re all so busy.
But were we too busy to spend an hour with the family?
When a book character reminds me to make the time!
I didn’t realise this, but the hero from AVOIDING THE PITY, Sean, knew of the importance of the family meal.
It had started as a game with his younger sisters, trying to make a horrible situation into a fun one. A habit he carried through into his adult life where he tried to help the super-busy heroine, Deanne to do the same.
Funny how characters in a story can somehow creep into our real world.
|“Funny how characters in a story can somehow creep into our real world.”
So, as I turn my phone to silent and leave it on my desk. It’s dinnertime in our household and we’re taking turns to cook these days. But so far, the no phone at the table rule continues to stand strong.
Do you do something similar in your household? Let me know in the comments below.
#Escape2HEA – because everyone deserves to ESCAPE the drama in their day
| #Escape2HEA | #AvoidingThePityParty| #ElsieCreek |
**All still images relating to this post’s topic are via the talented & fabulous photographers at https://unsplash.com/ Thanks guys.
Sue Legg
Love the email content & added GIPHY. Hilarious. But so sad & true. I’m dreading my pending stay over with my son, a total phone addict who rarely take his head out of said item. His excuse is ‘its all about work Mum’. I don’t believe him! I’m going to try & implement the no phone meal rule so wish me luck……………
Mel A ROWE
It was my excuse too, ‘it’s all work!’ But hey, what’s an hour, right?
I’m so glad you got something out of this, and THANK YOU so much for reading and commenting. It’s much appreciated. Oh, and good luck with your son at the dinner table, too.