Hardware Love Affairs

You have a picture you want to put up on the wall at home, so you decide to visit your local hardware store. A store you don’t visit often, let alone even think about. But what if you peeled back the wallpaper and got down to the nuts and bolts of these places, what would you find?

 

Meanwhile, at the Local Hardware Store…

Arriving at the local hardware store, you’ll find some teenager having a driving lesson with his freaked-out parents in the car park as they try to learn the powers of parallel parking.

Inside, some of the customers wander the aisles with tools in one hand and a coffee. Or was that cleverly disguised can of soda actually a bourbon can? Or is the smell of paint, wood, and fertilizer causing you to imagine things?

Some pre-schoolers are squealing like a bunch of bandsaws in the small instore playground. And you overhear one of the mother’s say to her children, ‘Mommy will be back in a minute.’  But she’ll then whisper to her partner, ‘run!’ As they scurry down the cleaning products aisle to hide in the concrete block section that no one goes to…

Well, only the mums do for that five-minute breather.

Don’t judge.

 

 

via GIPHY

 

And then there are the other local hardware store customers…

But then you finally find the hook section of the local hardware store, but now you have to decide which hook suits your picture best.

While standing there, a flurry of power-walkers brush past to strut down the aisles. Complete with high-viz work-out gear and hand weights, they sweat it out in a disorganised conga line!

Yet, by the time you’ve found the perfect hook to hang your picture, you spot that same group of spandex-glowing-walkers sharing coffee and cake at the instore café before they hammer on home. But hey, it’s probably cheaper than a gym membership, right?

So you head in the direction of the checkout as the construction workers come and go in a steady stream. It’s the tilers, painters, carpenters, brickies, sparkies, the tradesmen who are searching for that perfect screw to nail the job home. They’re all hot, sweaty, and rugged from working in the great outdoors when this guy shows up!

 

via GIPHY

 

Wait? What were we looking for again? Oh, yeah, something about hanging a picture on your wall.

As you walk along the aisles (okay, you’re now stalking that tradesmen) of your local hardware store you might even spot the noticeboard offering classes on How-to do anything. Well, anything that involves tools that is. Is there a class on how to hang a picture in your humble home?

Something big is brewing behind the scenes of the Local Hardware Store

So you’ve lost sight of the tradesman, and with your picture hook in hand, you head for the doors. Except a certain colour catches your eye that you have to stop and look at paint swatches.

“He did what to who?” 

You peek over your shoulder at the workers at the end of the aisle getting excited in their gossip as you pick paintbrushes and tape for the wall you’re now going to re-paint to hang that perfect picture.

As you move to another section of the store, the staff voices get louder…

‘She did what?’

‘Nooo. And what did he say?’

‘Oh, no. That’s shocking. It can’t be true?’

‘I saw it. And you know what?…’

The floor managers are drilling down in a hands-flying animated conversation in the corner. Other employees, who wear those long leather aprons, are peeking through the shelves and sharing their packet of gum as they watch with keen interest. Nearby, the gardeners are nattering over the sounds of their snipping secateurs in the nursery. The ladies who man the front counters are flushed with pitchy whispers as they share the news with the lumbering dudes who manage the wood section. But then it catches fire as the guy on the forklift tells the guy mixing paint, who tells the woman on her way to the lighting department, who flicks the switch to tell the man in the barbecue section, who is bursting like a water pipe to share it with his mate with the measuring tape, who’s busily serving a customer sharing tips on how to hang a picture on the wall.

You.

 

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The love of Hardware

Do you think you’ll ever look at your local hardware store the same again?

I’m beginning to think I have this weird love obsession with hardware stores.

It’s probably why I’ve included it in this story…

AVOIDING THE PITY PARTY, which is about a family-owned hardware store, managed by our heroine, Deanne, who sends her workers into overdrive when she’s spotted in the clinches of a sexy stranger in aisle five. Say what!

Oh yeah, it’s gotta be a hardware affair to remember.

 

 

You know what? That’s not the only story I wrote about that includes a local hardware store that is a huge part of a small outback community, trying the bestselling ELSIE CREEK SERIES.  I told you I had some obsession with hardware stores.

 

Oh, hey, good luck with hanging that perfect picture on the wall, I hope you nailed it! (I had to sneak that pun in.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mel A ROWE, chief procrastionator, author, blogger.

 

 

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**All still images relating to this post’s topic are via the talented & fabulous photographers at https://unsplash.com/  Thanks guys. 

 #Escape2HEA  |  #AvoidingThePityParty

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