After haggling with the fashion police, it was decided among the cat-walk-worthy to do something that would send the fashion world into a string of dizzy fits, as we unleashed a curiosity to headline the next fashion runway. That’s right, peoples, we did something unthinkable, magical, and oddly majestic, and it was all to do with Buffaloes and Tiras!

So pour some champagne, sit in that fancy chaise, and adjust your tiara, Duchess, for this teensy-ten-minute read…

Buffalo & Tiara Trivia:

Sitting prettier than a big fat hat, the tradition of tiaras sparkled onto the world stage during the Greek and Roman Empires where it was worn by both women and men!

But, just like the 80’s shoulder pads and big hair, tiaras soon fell out of fashion, only to show up on royal figureheads in the 18th century. History then became a never-ending replay of the tiara’s dancing through time where they were spotted on sacred statues, postage stamps, and even coins.

Today, what was once given to ancient Roman warriors to celebrate their victories during courageous battles, they’re commonly found on blushing brides and beauty pageants—who all wear that same Big. Smile. Full of perfectly polished white teeth. Dreaming of princes and happy endings.

via GIPHY

In comparison, the buffalo became the life of the party when given as a gift to King Agilulf of Italy in 600 AD, becoming sacred in some cultures. But in all honesty, it’s only been domesticated these past 5,000 years—when you compare that to the oldest surviving tiara that is only 300 years old. Hey, if you’re like me we all know age doesn’t matter, right?

So what is a tiara?

A tiara is a jewelled headpiece that sits like a dainty jewel that covers only half the head (a crown goes right around), instantly making the wearer feel fabulous. Why aren’t we wearing them all the time?

In some places, the tiara is called the diadem where the Oxford Dictionary explains it as: “… an ornamental headband worn by monarchs and others as a badge of royalty.”

The earliest tiaras were forged from iron and embedded with jewels. Today, you can make a tiara from anything because your level of clever creativity has no limits.

Types of tiaras

Like a well-seasoned fashion model with a thousand shoes and gowns who still has nothing to wear, there are numerous types of tiaras that the choices are enough to make your head spin. But the most common are:

• • The bandeau tiara is like a ribbon or a dollar-store-hairband you use at the end of the day to push back your hair and wash off your make-up. I’d like to see Queen Mary do that with her famous bandeau tiara.

• • Based on the traditional Russian headdress, the kokoshnik tiara is a wall of gemstones. It’s a literal wall of Diamonds. And the heavyweight championship goes to Queen Alexandra’s Kokoshnik tiara which holds a whopping 488 diamonds.

• • The circlet tiara, or the halo tiara, fits almost around the circumference of the head, which is a fancy word for a ring. It’s commonly worn by brides to hold their veil in place.

Random Tiara facts that you’ll want to read:

Now that you’ve suffered with the above, let’s adjust the halo tiara for this list of facts that I just knew you were going to ask!

• • • • The most expensive tiara ever sold at an auction was the Henckel von Donnersmarck tiara containing over 500 carats of buffalo bling and emeralds. Its bill came in at a simple $12.7 million. Pft—wait, I’m sure I’ve got that same amount hiding in the cracks of my couch.

• • • • A mourning tiara was only worn when the complimentary mourning period was partly over. Yep, it was a thing the poor-taste Victorian’s considered normal in society.

• • • • The deadliest diadem is the Strawberry Leaf Tiara. Since 1861, this tiara-ble tiara has been cursed with nothing but a trail of tragedies that it’s now locked away for the family’s safety.

• • • • Passed down from queen to queen, Queen Elizabeth II owned 50 tiaras. And they all had names, some as long a professional racehorses where no two thoroughbreds are named the same!

• • • • The family that has the highest net worth in tiaras is an even split of sparkles to both the British and Dutch Royal families.

• • • • Crown jewels are more than just a tiara but also used as a way to describe a certain part of the male anatomy.

• • • • Owning the most tiaras on the entire planet would have to be the fabulous sparkly octogenarian in the book, Buffalo Dust. As a lifetime collector, Esther Bennett managed to amass over 200+ tiaras, where she plays that game of ‘What tiara will I wear today!’ Ooh, we should all play that game too.

A Tiara’s outdated etiquette that we all want to roll our eyeballs over…

According to the Tiara-istocracy, there are rules for traipsing around in your tiara:

• • • • Only women with fancy highborn titles wore diamond tiaras hand-selected by a person with questionable cuticles to try and outshine the other over-dressed legs of mutton during the annual ball season.

• • • • No single ladies were allowed to wear a tiara. (Can’t you just hear Beyonce popping her hip on this one…) Because the privilege of wearing a tiara was seen as a status symbol kept purely for the married woman, the same way a golden wedding ring is worn today.

• • • • The tiara is strictly worn at for fancy dinners, major events and long and boring 74-year-old kingly coronations. (After watching every single episode of The Crown, you’ll understand the snarky tone.)

• • • • The bridal tiara is the tiara handed down through the family and given by the mother to the daughter to wear on her wedding day. Like the Spencer Tiara that Lady Diana wore when marrying the (*flipping the dictionary for something that says politely what a pompous spoiled two-timing twit) Prince of Wales. But it’s a great custom to create for your little princess on her wedding day.

via GIPHY

So let’s flip the script to the other side of this fashion parade because we all want to know what is a buffalo! Right?

After enduring that boring headline, a buffalo is a horned, ox-like animal that belongs to the family called Bovidae. And they’re big. And they have hard hooves.  And they’re generally found in Asia (water buffalo) and Africa (Cape buffalo). And I just like repeating the word And.

Sorry to burst the bubble for some readers but get ready to clutch your pearls on this one, Duchess…

But the American buffalo that grazed the Wild West is a bison. Not a buffalo. Now, before you pull out your six-gun and shoot this messenger, it’s t-r-u-e! Which means that the famous Buffalo Bill should’ve been called Bison Bill. Imagine his PR team having nightmares over having to do a total rebrand!

And just because I knew you were going to ask…

via GIPHY

What are the differences between Bisons and Buffaloes?

It’s the same as how you can easily pick a vintage piece by its cut, colour and over-use of padding and synthetic materials, it’s the same way to spot a Bison in a b-crowd by their:

Shoulders:

Bison have a big hump between their shoulders that becomes a tool to help them plough through the snow. So says the National Geographic gurus.

Buffaloes don’t do winter. Period. They’ve probably never even seen a snowflake as they prefer to wallow in water living in a place where its summer all year round.

Horns:

Buffalo horns are wider and they are three times bigger than the bison’s ear cleaners.

Hair:

Bison have beards and thick woolly coats to survive winters.

Buffaloes have coarse thin hair, more like skin. Or is that hide? But we all know it’s waterproof. Ha.

And because it’s my absolute duty to share 5+1 easy-to-read, (that is shorter than this headline) Buffalo Facts:

Stay calm, the misery is nearly over….

Did you know that:

• • • • There are 74 breeds of domestic water buffalo.

• • • • They were vegans way before being a vegan was hip! (Aka the herbivore.)

• • • • Their average lifespan is 20-25 years in the wild because it’s a jungle out there!

• • • • They can grow as tall as a 6-foot man who isn’t lying that he’s a male of an actual 182.88cm stature.

• • • • And they daintily weigh in at 1200 kg (2645 pounds).

• • • • Buffalo wings are made from chicken—not buffalo.

As we can brag about our beaches, Hugh Jackman, the Hemsworth brothers, and the outback, we also have an Australian Water Buffalo

The Aussie water buffalo (the Bubalus bubalis) is only found in Northern Australia and normally in places where man-eating crocodiles roam. Introduced back in the 1824-ish, the buffalo quickly became part of the local meat markets through to today’s thriving live export industry, big-game hunter trophies, and buttons!  Seriously, they do make buttons out of their horns, and there is a type of button style called the buffalo button that is shaped like a buffalo horn, commonly used as a toggle for duffle coats. How’s that for a fashion statement?

The other random facts about buffaloes that you didn’t think you needed to know:

• • • • India has the most domesticated water buffaloes in the world.

• • • • Australia has the largest population of wild water buffalo in the world.

• • • • Australia’s most famous water buffalo is Charlie, he was the star of the movie Crocodile Dundee back in the 80s.

• • • • There is another Aussie Buffalo who is also a star in a bestselling outback romance series, Elsie Creek and his name is Cecil, who may just be Charlie’s long-distant cousin.

• • • • For those mystical lovers of magic, the buffalo symbolises strength and power, benevolence, patience, steady toil and consistency, stability, gentleness, gratitude, prosperity, abundance, and helpfulness. Nice.

Finally, the answer you’ve been searching for your entire life is: What do buffaloes and tiaras have in common?

It had to take an absolute genius to come up with a new-found fashion trend (thank you, you can kindly leave your accolades at the end of this post), but it will surprise you at what they do have in common…

• • • • They’re attention-grabbing. Show-stopping. And seeing one in today’s world would make the traffic stop, or at least cause that awkward pause in the crowd before those tongues work into a tizzy over the scandalous gossip it will cause. Riiight. Anyhoo…

• • • • They’re both mentioned in the Bible, both Old and New Testaments.

• • • • Both have pointy sharp bits in the head region. (*scratches head *)

• • • • Can be considered heavy when worn, especially the older tiaras. Come on, have you bench-pressed a buffalo lately?

• • • • They come in various varieties, colours, and have unique qualities.

• • • • Are regularly confused with their cousins—like bison and a buffalo, crown with the tiara.

• • • • They both look gorgeous!

• • • • Can be dressed up or dressed down.

• • • • Both are symbols of power and abundance.

• • • • Can be seen as an investment passed down through the family.

• • • • Special tiaras are given names like you’d name a pet buffalo that hopefully is shorter than the name of the last race-cup-winning thoroughbred.

• • • • They both play a big part in the parades and pageants in this small town…

Buffalos and Tiaras: A Love Story

As the only romance series in the world—no the planet—aw heck, why not just say this entire galaxy, where it includes a water buffalo,  tiaras, and even tutus, found in the one charming place that will help you escape the stress of your day. Sounds good. Right?

So, Duchess, grab yourself a cocktail, slide on your tiara and pretend we’re somewhere swanky as you download this copy of BUFFALO DUST, and I’ll…

PS: Because you love reading my words so much, I had to share that no animals or tiaras were harmed during the construction of this colossal article, and the best way to thank me is by reading the book here>>

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