Farmer Wants a Wife has issues

Farmer Wants a Wife, the reality show, is meant to be an A-Grade rural romance, but this season it was filled with issues…

Farmer wants a wife concept

Farmer wants a wife is a feel-good reality show where farmers try to find a wife. It’s supposed to be an A-grade rural romance, where past contestants are truly living their happily ever afters. As for the viewers, it brought many heart-filled joyous moments, even happy tears at the finale.

But season 11…. drove us to drink!

The Farmer Wants a Wife Drinking Game

We invented a drinking game while watching season 11 and called it The Farmer Wants a Wife Connection Game.

All you need is a bottle of your favourite beverage and a shot glass.

The rules are simple…

Every time someone on the show says the word ‘Connection’ or ‘connect’ you drink.

Bonus points are for the term ‘… on the same page…’

So I invite you to grab a bottle of something and let’s play the game by meeting our lucky farmers of the season, with a 2022 recap for some of those couples …

via GIPHY

Farmer Scammer (Sam)

Right from the outset, many of the viewers spotted the falsity of this farmer, they’d named Farmer Scam.

According to viewers of this series, via social media, “…He’s not a farmer… didn’t live on the farm… didn’t dress like a farmer…” Farmer Scammer is a truck driver hauling a tonne of alleged real-life legal dramas who ended up dumping his final two amazing ladies by saying… (got your drink ready) there was no connection!

Since the season was forever forgotten, so too was the farmer, until season 12 reared its head. We are happy to learn that Sam is with another new girlfriend who was never a part of this show.

So, moseying along to contestant number 2…

The Run-around Farmer (Rob)

They picked a farmer from the iconic Snowy Mountains region and its beautiful country. It was epically romantic.

The scenery, that is.

via GIPHY

So, back to Runaround Rob, the man who’s been engaged for 10 years. 10 years! He never fessed up why he’d never married this lady, so how could a guy like this be expected to commit to another woman in 5 weeks?

Did he suffer from some dating syndrome, when he kicked out his first batch of women, saying (get your drink ready) he had no connection!

But then the show’s producers awarded him another four women. But by then, we didn’t care. We had no (id your drink ready) connection to him or those new women where he chose no one in the end. We guess it’ll probably be another 10 years before… Well, frankly my dear, we didn’t give a damn then and still don’t. Drink?

via GIPHY

The Rebound Farmer (Matt)

This farmer had recently lost his father and our heart went out to him. You could see Matt was still grieving. He also had a wonderful group of women to choose from, Brydie was a favourite, and so was Alex.

Matt’s lady of choice was Tara, who ran away!

Yep, she bolted for the hills and left Matt devastated as he tried to focus on the other women who wanted to be there. With. Him. Where the quiet and graceful Alex shone until…

The runaway bride, Tara, returned four days later and stayed. Her reasons were: “… lost sight of the bigger picture…” for, um, her modelling career? Her social media status?

In the end, Matt chose Tara. But didn’t and ended the season as a single man. And from what we could ascertain is he’s still single. Pity, this guy was a catch! Just sayin’…

Yet, another girl that Matt had sent home earlier in this, became pregnant to…

The Export Farmer (Will)

We liked Will. He was a likeable character. But he scored the nickname as the export farmer because he chose someone who wasn’t even Aussie in an Australian show.

Before you reach for your hay-tossing pitchfork, this Commonwealth Cousin and our Aussie farmer made a lovely couple, and we really liked Jaimee too. This Canadian is such a beautiful soul, and at the time, we truly wished this couple well in their HEA.

However, according to the tabloids, they broke up and Will got another contestant pregnant!

And since then Hayley had a healthy baby girl, sharing her pregnancy journey on Instagram. Without any sign of the farmer-father.

Farmer Drama (Andrew)

This adorably blushing farmer stated throughout the show how much he “hated drama”. Yet he was forever running after the drama-princess Jess who didn’t even know if she wanted to live on his family farm. Oh, come on – the show is all about dating a farmer on his farm! Did the contestants miss this bit in the contract or do they all want to use this as a plot point to stir up drama.

Ash was the other front runner who was exactly what Farmer Drama said he wanted in a wife—a life without drama.

But Farmer Drama preferred to run after Jess, leaving poor Ash to sit alone at the table in the restaurant for almost an hour. Ash should’ve seen the signs on who Farmer Drama would rather hook up in the dark with.

But on social media, this farmer later revealed he’d wanted to leave the show early with his lady of choice, which meant all of his other dates throughout the season were purely fake! It was nothing but a fake date for ratings! Ugh.

But, according to the tabloids, the couple continued to date long-distance, and are currently living together enjoying their own happily ever after down on the farm. Aww.

The Pity Farmer…

This show once brought hope and joy into thousands of homes across the country. Yet, for season 11, if you took away the magnificent scenery and the obvious product placement of their flashy cars, and put them in suburbia, it seemed to be nothing more than a cheap reality show that has sadly lost its class.

Especially when it showed that the temper tantrum teary princesses of petty drama won! Where’s the class in that?

And what message is that sending to the young girls watching?

It was obvious who the farmers were going to pick early on, you could see it in their body language. They just dragged the other contestants around on one long fake date that we didn’t even bother watching the finale.

Sadly, we never even bothered to watch season 12. There was no Twitter hashtag trending, no news on IG, nothing to even show there was a new season. The only way I’d learned about season 12 being broadcasted was when the ratings for this post went through the roof on Google.

I said it back then and I’ll say it again, the true winners were the ladies who walked away with grace, including the ex-viewers who chose to spend their valuable time on other pursuits in life.

But if you’re looking for a feel-good romance about a fake-dating farmer then you can’t go past MUSTER IN THE DUST. It’s part of the award-winning bestselling Elsie Creek Series. Go on, you deserve a story where everyone is left smiling at the end.