What are the rules and etiquettes to make and fake for a great party? What about the protocols for gifts and cake? Do you even need a cake? (*gasps*)
So, let’s find your inner party-diva as we crack open the confetti on party conventions with my invitation to you to party-cipate in this 6-minute party-on-the-page…
What is a party?
A party is a social gathering of people celebrating a moment that usually involves music, decorations, drinking, and party food. And cake! Lots of cake! Never forget the cake, right?
Party Types
Besides birthdays, a party can be for any reason, such as to celebrate the release of your latest novel to the virtual book shops. It could be the launch of a new product, a new car, buying a used ute, a who-dunnit-party, or the football season’s Grand Final party. There is also the slumber party, the intimate party for two, the impromptu farewell party, and even a shed party for the mancave dwellers.
Other types of parties, could be the elegant and timeless Garden parties. Morning, or afternoon tea, is served on fine china with polished silverware that sparkles beneath the dappled sunlight from the trees in the garden. It’s a delicate affair, filled with cake, and common for the refined bachelorette party.
Hen’s parties are loud, involving copious cocktails, party games, and male strippers. And no cake–but that is allowed.
But to have a party (and I’m not talking about Political Party’s either) you’ll need a few things…
Invitations
You have to invite people to come to your party. Duh!
No longer relying on the snail-mail, most email or post an event on Facebook or phone/text a friend inviting people to their party.
The basic invitations details are the date, time, what to bring, where to go, and why you’re having the party.
Formal invitations are posted and considered normal for weddings or those visiting Parliament House. If a dress code is required, expect a formal invitation with a mandatory Rsvp.
What is the Rsvp?
It stands for: Répondez s’il vous plaît. Yep, it’s French, meaning ‘Please respond’. Basically, you tell the host you will be attending their soiree.
It’s just being polite.
Rsvp-ing also allows the host to work on numbers for food catering, and to stock up on toilet paper for the loo. It’s a must for sit-down dinner parties because it looks wrong having a spare seat at the table. What is, the toilet paper? Um…
Did you know, for a royal dinner, they’ll research the toilet paper preference of their guests? It’s what Queen Elizabeth did for the visiting President Obama. No wonder so many of us call the loo the royal throne room–but that’s another story.
The Trick To Timing
The party planner should be ready by the appointed time, which is long before the guests arrive–if things go according to plan.
For arriving guests, timing depends on the party–but getting there when you say will works wonders.
For a dinner party, don’t be late or the soup will get cold, the souffle will sink, and the hosts won’t bother inviting you again.
If it’s a backyard barbecue, they’re a lot more casual with timing. But coming half-way through the first quarter of a televised football match, don’t expect them to fetch you a plate, mate, help ya self!
However, if you’re the Queen of England or the blushing bride, you have to be fashionably late to your own party—it’s a tradition.
The Tricky Art of Gift Giving
Gifts are expected when you’re a child, and not so much as an adult, making it one of the trickiest part of the party process for both guest and host.
Go figure.
Can You Return Gifts?
I’m sure we’ve all been there stuck holding a horrid gift you want to give back like it was some hotcake from hell itself. However, it’s considered poor taste if you do, no matter how much you hate it.
If you don’t like the gift, smile, and just say thank you because they’ve put in an effort to giving you something.
Although, after using oodles of tact, you may get away with giving their gift back or getting the receipt to exchange it for something more your style. Saying it’s too small or there’s a manufacturing error will get you that store receipt for an exchange. But do tread carefully.
You can re-gift it to someone else, just don’t re-gift it back to the original gift giver. Umm, what?
Of you can hide it in the cupboard forever to save yourself from making a family frenemy for life.
Please, try not to be that person who gives that horrid gift that even the hellhounds wouldn’t chew on as their latest toy.
Can You Ask For Your Gift Back?
It’s common in break-ups to ask for a gift back, like jewellery. Legally, you can’t and won’t get your gift back.
Yep, if you give—it’s gone for good!
if you give—it’s gone for good!
(Tweet this)
Think of it like this…you’ve donated a kidney, do you ask for that back?
However, if you do gift property a crafty lawyer may be able to argue for its return in a court based on mental health issues.?.?.? Maybe.
The Unforgiving Gift Of Occasion.
Isn’t that what you’re supposed to be doing for Christmas, getting into the spirit of giving?
Other special parties where gifts are expected are:
Weddings Do Have Their Wants
Gift registries rule! And the bridal party do have the right to return gifts, in case they end up with three kettles and five toasters.
Baby-Shower Booty.
It’s all things baby, and the mum-to-be (or mum of the mum-to-be) will have a shopping list of gifts to choose from. They need it, and nappies, and bottles, and precious nap-time.
Housewarming Gifts: Please, no toasters.
To celebrate a new home it was a tradition to throw a party where family and neighbour, with best intentions, brought gifts to help turn the new house into a home. They’d bring gifts like spare linen lying around in the cupboard. Homemade jars of jams and pickles were also donated to fill the pantry as well as any spare second-hand furniture they’d share.
Today, housewarming parties are thrown to show where you live so it’s easier for friends and family to find you later.
Instead of gifts…
Some party-throwers request donations to their Fund-me accounts to pay for their third honeymoon, which is what happened in UNPLANNED PARTY.
And, if you’re thinking of giving a potted plant…
Don’t be that girl who dragged a massive potted plant up three flights of stairs for a housewarming party for this guy she liked. Hoping to make a grand entrance, she arrived all hot and sweaty with dirt-stains spread across her dress. She then dragged it inside, where the plant’s leaves swatted everyone in the face, only to swamp the room like an overgrown hundred-year-old tree stranded in an underground carpark!
So, do spare a thought to the gift you’re giving.
What About The Hostess With The Mostess?
It’s good etiquette to give the host a gift for throwing the party. As most are birthday parties, bring a gift or a card.
If it’s something else, a bottle of booze or a bunch of flowers will win you points. And, you can never go wrong with scented candles for a housewarming.
Just remember that pot plant incident I mentioned earlier and leave the foliage at home.
The Legendary Tupperware Parties
This is for all those candle/sex-toy/clothes/linen/lingerie/towel/movie/jewellery parties held in unsuspecting suburban backyards everywhere. You know the ones, where the pressure is on the guest to buy something!
This time you need not bring a gift because you’ll probably over-spend that money on something in the catalogue. Every purchase a guest makes goes toward the hostess’ gift from the company.
I did say the gift part was tricky.
The Best And Worst To Party Planning
To Stare Or Not To Stare
It’s a pretty cool party when everyone sits and stares at their phone!?!?!
Ah, hello… don’t most people go to a party to meet new people. Not to sound preachy, buuuut, why not just be in the moment for a moment?
And, try not to hold up the wall and stare, go mingle. (Oops, that sounded preachy!)
Mingling (a foreign word for those with phone-staring-addictions) is considered normal behaviour for parties, it’s why people go. So, say hi to a stranger. They may be your new BFF waiting to discuss light-speed travel and every episode of Supernatural while sharing cake! Just saying.
Mingling (a foreign word for those with phone-staring-addictions) is considered normal behaviour for parties
(Tweet this)
When It’s A No Show
You’ve spent your entire month’s salary on the party and no one showed! (*gasp*)
There’s rent to pay, and you may never get the bond back because glitter has been grounded into the carpet forever. So you sip your sorrows on your magic punch, all while holding the fridge shut hoping it’ll live long enough to keep all the party food you’ll be eating for a year.
All because you told everyone the wrong date!
This happens more than you know.
Why Party Planning isn’t Senseless Cents
You can count your lucky pennies while planning for a party because planning helps you pick a date and work out your budget.
Planning can also help you whittle down your menu choices, guest numbers, and for checking and rechecking your invitations. It’s good for planning timed events throughout the night so you don’t panic, allowing for the food and drinks to flow.
Party planning does make it an easier and fun night for you, where you can still pay your rent and get a professional cleaner in to tackle that glitter ground into the carpet.
Venues Might Matter…
It’s a housewarming party and a thousand people are invading a one-bedroom apartment to stare at the world’s biggest houseplant crowding the living-room. (Sorry, had to! He-he.)
Or there are four people seated at a table in each corner of the grand ballroom in the Hilton (unless you want that for a reason).
How would a company Director enjoy eating from plastic plates while swatting at files out the back of a truck stop over by the garbage bins? (Anyone else got a hate-dream of their ex-boss they want to share?)
So, location! Location! Location!
But you don’t need to break the bank either, because it could be in the backyard by the pool, at a bowling alley, or an alley-party that spills into one of the best street parties that New Year’s Eve has ever seen!
Again, it all depends on the party-type and the budget you’re willing to blow.
Dare We Bother With Decorations?
You can collect a packet of party balloons from the supermarket shelf that your cousin–and his 20-year smoking habit–will defy nature by coughing-up-a-lung as he attempts to blow up one (1) singular balloon. His older brother will wrestle with the lawnmower trying to scare off any snakes in the grass. Nan will chuck an old bed sheet over the poop-covered table she stole from the backyard chook pen, creating a proper table setting for the tucker. Pop will scrape off the grease from the last barbie, wack on the wireless, fill the laundry tub with ice, crack open a stubbie of beer to drink and swipe at the flies until long past sunset. Job done!
Party decorating options are as endless as a warehouse filled with assorted items to suit any occasion. The decorations can be hand-crafted to highlight the mood for your party theme, all while breaking the budget.
It’s anything, everything, or none.
You choose.
Curating Cocktails Creations
Unless you’ve got a sizzling-fireman greeting your guests at the front door to serve water straight from your garden hose, drinks need to be considered…
Today’s tradition for the average party is to BYO–bring your own drinks. Yet, it’s considered proper party protocol to offer your guests a drink upon arrival.
If you choose to keep to budget not spent on decorations, you can make a magic punch for everyone to enjoy using all those leftover spirits from the bottom of the cupboard.
Or, being the clever party-diva you are, you could rename an old cocktail favourite and fashion it into a new one for the occasion. Any new or old recipe can be life-changing as seen in UNPLANNED PARTY.
Music Makes the Mood, Maybe?
Do you want Great-Grandma’s church choir singing boy-band covers at a burly footballer’s 21st bash?
What about a raunchy seventies mix for the pre-schoolers teddy-bears’ picnic?
Doing the polka at a wedding would be so hot!
No, wait, how about playing heavy metal to thrash out that first waltz to head-bang with Great-grandma, followed by the top ten all-time nursery rhymes to really get the crowd pumped!
Any takers… anyone?
Unless you want everyone to go home—music does make the mood. Luckily, most people carry their own playlist on their phones and they don’t mind sharing, should you need it.
Party Hunger
Unless you’re all having a famine-for-fundraising party, party food selection is endless from breakfast to midnight munchies out the back of a food truck, it can be cleverly crafted to suit your theme.
As part of the planning process, remember food can help create a memorable occasion. It can be as basic as fetching supplies from the local corner shop, opening a packet of chips and tearing off the lids on the dips. Or it can be mouth-watering delicacies discovered on Pinterest prepared in advance. Planning, remember that word?
Also, be wary of those with food allergies because peanut butter and beer nuts at a kid’s birthday may be an issue. MSG is also a real winner, and garlicky food is perfect for stopping those intimate conversations with vampires. For that finger food favourite, try to include cracking crab shells to truly test your guest’s manicures out.
You are the chef of choice on that one.
Still talking about food, no party is complete without…
(drumroll)
CAKE!
It’s the proverbial party’s icing on the… (Yes, I went there. You can leave now!)
Cake is a must at parties!
Cake can also be in the form of cupcakes, a slice of cake, a brownie, a sweet slice, a pastry or a sweet pie, set with a candle that’s a birthday cake(ish).
China makes an individual birthday pastry they give to each guest, and the Koreans skip the cake and share a special seaweed soup.
All I’m saying is, that if a bunch of burly footy players can enjoy cake at their end of season football party, you gotta have a cake.
The Party Favour
Party favours used to be a piece of leftover cake that graduated to gift baggies given to the guest as a thank you for coming to the party. They’re also known as bombonieres for weddings, christenings, and other religious events.
They’re common at kids’ parties, filled with lollies (candy) and some cheap trinket for the kids to enjoy—and to torment their parents with—over the next few days.
Other popular events for the party favours are baby showers, or ladies bridal showers where each guest receives a takeaway bag filled with goodies.
Party favours are also a favourite for corporate events as the perfect way to launch their products giving out their bag of swag to share like an expo. Politician parties are big on these events and loooooove their buttons and balloons.
For today’s average party, favours aren’t considered necessary.
Clowns and Other Party Phobias
A bursting balloon or an exploding confetti bomb can set off someone’s pacemaker. Yet it’s the clown that scares many, considering clowns and clown hats are a staple at kids’ parties. Think about it, at least one kid cries when they see a clown at a party or the circus.
If you haven’t seen the episode of Supernatural, or read IT by Stephen King you’d think those scared of clowns was for fiction. But the concept of the evil clown is part of the fear of clowns known as coulrophobia. It’s real.
Social Phobia
Social Anxiety Disorder, or social phobia, is to suffer an intense fear of certain social situations. It’s that feeling you’re being watched and judged by others attending parties, affecting 1-10 at every party.
Brides and grooms suffer panic attacks right before the wedding ceremony.
Those throwing the party can also suffer a fear of being a social failure if their party is bad.
An Introvert’s Party Plan
Unable to come up with an excuse to say no, you—as an introvert—have to attend a party. So, what do you do?
♦Take a friend who’ll be there with you.
♦Prepare a set of questions. Don’t write them on your hands because they’ll get sweaty and you won’t be able to decipher your own writing. Write a list on a piece of paper to put in your pocket or in your phone to prompt you.
If you ask a question, they’ll reply, and all you have to do is listen.
♦Have an escape plan. Organise a friend to call with an emergency, this helps to know you only have 45 minutes and thirty-two seconds before they call so you can leave.
Surprisingly, it’s also normal for 80% of party guests to ask themselves, ‘When can they leave’. Many party-goers also feel like a failure in not knowing what to say to strangers too.
When Is The Right Time To Bolt?
Did you know, sneaking off from a party is considered the proper etiquette in exits! I didn’t know that either, but it’s true.
But don’t leave too early, coz that’s just rude.
The reason they say it’s a good thing to sneak out of a party is so you don’t interrupt conversations. It also stops that lull in the party that could lead to a mass exit of everyone else wondering if they should stay or go too.
But try to thank the host on your way out the door… or not, if they’re busy and you can call them tomorrow.
When The Party Is Over
Spare a thought for the hostess next time you go to a party. A lot of work goes on behind the scenes before you get there, and then they have to clean up long after you’ve left.
Just like you’ll discover in the story UNPLANNED PARTY. Our heroine is an introverted party planner, who finds her van is stolen, while she’s breaking party protocols trying to escape her own birthday party!
Sometimes you don’t need a crowd to celebrate, making UNPLANNED PARTY and AVOIDING THE PITY PARTY perfect for that pampering party for one—you.
Thanks for reading.
**All still images relating to this post’s topic are via the talented & fabulous photographers at https://unsplash.com/ Thanks guys.
Now for the VLOGS….
Not clowing around with Social Anxieties and other party phobias ~ VLOG
#Wordjourney #FindingLost #Escape2HEA #AvoidingThePityParty #UnplannedParty #ARTofDUST #WintersWalk
