Let’s talk about romancing the Dating Syndromes and the wacky and wily ways of these stereotypical dating disorders that, somehow, became this fortnight’s conversation (and side venture into procrastination). Yep, I really went down the rabbit hole on this one.
Still with me?
Well then, here we go…
Let Me Introduce You To A Hero…
She was one of the first female political advisors to the British Secretary at War.
The first female member of the Royal Statistical Society.
The first woman to receive the Order of Merit.
The first recipient of the Royal Red Cross.
She published the handbook for nursing and penned hundreds of letters for dying soldiers to send to their families during the war.
She was camera shy.
Never married.
Never had children.
Who is she?
The mother of nursing. The Queen of compassion committed to caring for her patients, no matter where they came from.
And her name was Florence Nightingale.
To which it has nothing to do with what follows except for the name…
The Florence Nightingale Syndrome
The Florence Nightingale Effect is when a caregiver develops a romantic attraction toward their patient, or when the patient falls for their carer. These feelings fade once the patient is healthy and has returned to their normal lifestyle.
So how does an unwed single woman end up having this famous trope named after her? A trope penned in many, many, many romance stories of today.
Is the Nightingale Syndrome such a bad thing?
This trope in the real-world could be considered a conflict of interest that is dependent upon the individual’s personal ethics and workplace policies. So, if you behaved during business hours, and found that those feelings persisted long after the office door has closed, you’re free to act upon them outside the workplace. But would you?
Which led to the question of what kind of other types of dating syndromes are out there?
The other Dating Syndromes
The romance of the Dating Syndromes and the wacky and wily ways of these stereotypical dating disorders (Tweet This)
The White Knight Syndrome
(AKA the Rescuer’s Romance)
There are claims that the naming of the White Knight Syndrome was in honour of Lancelot or King Arthur. Which one do you think deserves the crown? (he-he)
To simplify this syndrome’s stereotype, just think of the hero movies, the ones full of action like the Princess Bride. It’s where that white knight does the heavy sword wielding (showing off his strength), riding that steed (showing he’s a multi-tasker). Wearing WHITE to a sword fight! Who does that?
Anyway, this syndrome is all about the relationship rescuer. Yep, it’s that dude that saves the Damsel in Distress from dangerous situations or other men.
Women white-knighters save the day in-between stacking the dishwasher…
(Tweet This)
For women doing the white-knighting, it’s all about saving the day in between stacking the dishwasher.
The Damsel in Distress Syndrome
(AKA The Wounded Princess Syndrome)
These ladies are the ones who want the really nice guys.
Instead, they end up going for the Bad-Nice Guys or the Peter Pans, all while secretly lusting after the bad boy! The dater savouring this syndrome’s diet enjoys faking their distressing daytime drama for the attention! (*gasps)
And, hey, there are a lot of guys doing this too.
But many more women secretly hope for that White Knight to rescue them from dating the bad boys, or from life in general.
Many men like dating this delicate damsel because it boosts their masculine egos sky-high. Their only fear is being pushed out by someone stronger who’ll steal their girl.
Just refer to the top ten hero movies of the last ten years as an example of this typified trope. Come on, who doesn’t love a hero story? (*hands up)
Superman’s Syndrome
This is not what you think, apparently, the theory for this is all about the extra Y chromosome thingy that’s found in serial killers. It’s said to acerbate the intent for criminal behaviour. Huh? Er, yeah, we’re so not going there.
Otherwise…
The Superman Syndrome is a dater who goes beyond the boundaries of normality. Besides being the lifter-of-heavy things, they are also famous for swooping in and stealing the girl…From. Other. Guys.
Hey, how many superheroes do you know that live in a long-lasting relationship before chaos whisks them away to save someone else? Anyone?
How many superheroes live in a long-lasting relationship before chaos whisks them away to save someone else? (Tweet This)
The Peter Pan Syndrome
(AKA The Man-Child Syndrome)
The guy who won’t grow up!
Yep, that pretty much covers it. Because this professional couch-surfer does his best in avoiding all forms of commitment!
When they’re not battling pirates, they’re fun to hang with and their spontaneity is their strength. They so suffer serious allergic reactions to the world of adulting and for all things involving responsibility.
To stereotype this syndrome, the Peter-Paners typically live at home with their parents. Or they have their mum visiting to do the housework while the Peter-Paners sit on the couch playing video games. Spoilt much? This reminds me of a character I just wrote about!
Princess Pan Syndrome is the name for the lovely ladies living it up in this sector too.
But why grow up and act your age when you can party like you were in still in high school!
The Wendy Syndrome
Opposite to the Peter-Paner’s, this would be like dating your mother! For this group, everyone comes first. They’ll do all the caring for others to not risk abandonment—these are the mothers of Peter Pans.
Dating those of the Princess Syndrome
Going beyond the bookmark of beauty let’s think high maintenance, whining, drama-queening Diva.
Then go higher.
And bigger.
And betterer.
Yep, it’s all about the spoilt materialistic princesses who want to be showered in gifts as they ponder the purpose of milk and bread that so many of us peasants use daily.
To proceed with this dating profile, you’d want to have a healthy bank balance.
“…spoilt materialistic princesses who want to be showered in gifts as they ponder the purpose of milk and bread…” (Tweet this)
They’re not to be confused with the Damsels who get into trouble because these pretend-queens are all about the pampering.
Yet we all deserve to be pampered like a princess at one time or another. Just saying.
The Un-dateable Mr Nice Guy Syndrome
This can be read (ha) in two ways….
This is the not-so-perfect guy. The guy who is doing nice things all the time. He’s the classic underdog we all want to see winning the woman of their dreams in movies.
Yet in real life, these guys rarely get past the friend zone. No isn’t part of their vocabulary when it comes to their crush where they’re too afraid to say, ‘hey, I like you—But, no I will not clean your toilet, collect your garbage, and walk your dog.’
Unfortunately, there’s no spark from the female—typically the Princess or Damsel stereotype who uses the Mr Nice Guy as a backup spare guy or a cheap assistant. Not nice.
The Not-so-Nice-Guy Dating Syndrome
This is the sneaky Mr Nice Guy who only does sweet things in return for something.
They’ll even tell you they’re a nice guy.
Words of warning, these manipulative men have got a hidden agenda which is, no surprise, all about sexual favours.
It’s the same for women too.
These super-nice ladies can flip to the dark side of nasty as fast as a light switch flick when they’re knocked back. “… after all that good they did what did they get? NOTHING!”
I’m sure that sounded familiar to you, only now we’ve got a name for it!
The Friendzone Dating Syndrome
Again, a term with two meanings. Basically, it’s being brushed to the far-far-away friend corner. Mr Nice Guy knows this area well.
For those performing the friend-zoning, it’s because they’re too scared to risk that friendship. The spark might be there, but they don’t want to sabotage what’s perfect.
Habitual friend-zoners are those dabbling on the edge of Peter Pan’s peripherals for non-commitment.
It’s Always Greener Over The Fence Dating Syndrome
A cliché that states the obvious. With social media and the many apps available why settle on Mr Okay when you could have Mr Perfect!
Dating Mr Perfect Syndrome
Consider a man with immaculate hair, fresh from his barber’s visit. Carrying his latte in one hand, he smiles that freshly whitened smile at you as you pass in the shopping mall.
Was he really smiling at you?
You look around to see if he’s talking to someone else, glimpsing at your reflection in his shoes. Then while trying to tame your just-got-out-bed-do, Mr Perfect asks you out to dinner while in the supermarket. Huh?
Everything is perfect with this guy, right down to the selfies on his Instagram feed.
But is it real?
Would they have a melt-down if life isn’t perfect in they’re borderline OCD world?
Or they’re graduating towards White Knight status as they relish the challenge of saving the train-wreck you appear to be while shopping for personal hygiene products. (*breathe)
Would you want the pressure of dating Mr Perfect?
Which leads us into…
The Disposable Dating Syndrome
(AKA The Online Dating Syndrome)
This guy likes to date everyone everywhere because they can. They know all the dating clichés for online profiles where they enjoy strolls along the beach. Cocktail crafting is their hobby. The must-have-fish-in-photo is part of their male profile. And their finger suffers bouts of RSI from scrolling/ side-swiping on their phone. All. The Time.
The females’ usual online dating cliché is their sense of adventure. Where they exercise their shopping skills between beach strolls, Their online age is debatable. Aaaand they’re most used excused is:
♥ they’re only online to help a friend find love.
♥ or a friend for their pet.
Yep, mostly they’re window shopping in a shop that never stops.
The Imposter Dating Syndrome
Again we have dual interpretations, one of which is dating an imposter. Those first few dates are about being under the Mr Perfect persona because you’ll want to make that brilliant first impression.
But there are guys that fake everything, every time you see them.
Catfish anyone?
They’ll brag about being a helicopter pilot as a day job when he’s really a lollipop guy stopping traffic for roadworks!
And yet, the second you out him as a fraud, you’re blocked from his social media accounts and he’s back on the dating treadmill courting another contestant.
Imposters are real.
Then there’s the other Imposter Syndrome Sufferer…
Most writers and artists suffer from this infliction whenever they put something personal into the public arena. Which is what dating is all about.
Hey, I suffer from Imposter Syndrome in publishing anything! (There, my secret’s out!!) So, I wasn’t surprised to discover this kind of syndrome in daters. You see, this group of groovers want to quit before they start in case it doesn’t work out. Why risk yourself for that debilitating pain of rejection?
It’s all in the name of self-preservation and giving into the doubting self-talk, which sounds like:
“Are you good enough to date Mr Perfect?”
“His Ex’s are supermodel millionaires how could you possibly compare.”
“He’s too hot for you!”
“He’ll think you’re weird.”
“Are you his pity date?”
That’s it, I’m rescuing more cats to move in with me. Then I’m investing in an Ice-cream factory that’ll help feed this Syndrome’s monster!
Rescuing more cats to move in while investing in an Ice-cream factory to help feed this Syndrome’s monster! (Tweet this)
Romancing the Syndromes
We’re all aware that there are lots of love stories, many with doctors and their patients falling in love under the Nightingale Effect. There are countless movies where White Knights get dirty as Damsels do their dandiest to not let their mascara run. Mr Nice Guy is busy doing the errands dreaming of his HEA (happily ever after). While everyone is ignoring Wendy feeding the Princess who is sharing the couch with Peter Pan. These and the many other clichés of characters do add colour to the dating game.
So, why ride this rabbit hole in the name of research?
Because in my Amazon International Bestseller, THE FOOTBALL WHISPERER they mentioned the Florence Nightingale Effect. It shows how the power of healing and humour go hand in hand in this heartfelt story of second chances, misfit families, stray animals that stay, and where love is found in THE FOOTBALL WHISPERER.
In WINTER’S WALK, our wounded heroines won’t date. Not while she’s busily arguing with her bantering, blue-eyed, hard-bodied neighbour who admits he wouldn’t know what it’s like to date! Talk about a dilemma.
In AVOIDING THE PITY PARTY, our heroine is too scared to start dating again after publicly humiliating herself at her own wedding. She’s also got her big brother on her case, worried that they’re cursed against all relationships. So I’m not sure what category that would put them in?
In UNPLANNED PARTY, an introverted party planner, so used to seeing the other side of parties and dating, is stunned when she’s asked out by a delicious detective. Does she take up his offer–or run?
Go on and see if any of my nerd-words of wisdom (above) matches my current crop of characters in my novels? It’d be like Tinder dating with your Kindle to find your latest book boyfriend…
Click on a book cover below to discover your next escape…
**All still images relating to this post’s topic are via the talented & fabulous photographers at https://unsplash.com/ Thanks guys.
#footballWhisperer #Escape2HEA #wordjourney #UnplannedParty #AvoidingThePityParty #WintersWalk
