Do you have a memorable moment behind the wheel?

What about a pet name for your car, or some vehicular superstitions?

Then this is for those who enjoy their portable piece of paradise… the car.

Yes, the romance of cars, somehow, became this fortnight’s conversation (and side venture into procrastination) for this post.

Consider This A Crash Course on Cars—Not.

We’ve all been there, alone, just you, the car and the road ahead. It’s the stuff of many legends and love affairs.

So, let’s strap on the seatbelt, find our inner rev head in heels, and burn some rubber on this random road trip as we try to discover the romantic wonder behind the car’s story…

strap on the seatbelt, find our inner rev head in heels, as we to try and discover the romantic wonder behind the car’s story…Tweet This

Opening The Hood On Car Facts:

It’s obvious men love them, they talk about them, wash them, pet them, and take photos of their cars while their girlfriends stand on the sidelines waiting their turn for some attention.

Umm…not.

Here are some quick facts to show off with that I found out in my research:

♥There are over 1.2 billion cars in the world.

♥In 2018 they registered over 19.2 million cars in Australia.

♥The Toyota Hilux is Australia’s most common car.

♥Corollas are the most common and bestselling car in the world.

♥The worst cars are brands I’ve never heard of and aren’t worth mentioning.

So, there are lots of cars in the world, with lots of articles about cars. This isn’t one of those types of articles because I don’t know the name of the doo-hickeys moving under the bonnet.

All I do is turn the key and cruise.

Kicking at The Hubcaps of History

When first invented, they knew cars as automobiles. Duh.

They were invented in Germany by Mr Benz, back in 1885, and it’s the name of the brand we all know today. But back then it was a one-cylinder two-stroke gasoline beast that rolled its wheels slowly. Very slowly.

By today’s standards, there was nothing luxurious about it, but back then it was a luxury item when first invented.

The status symbol of the car has not changed until Ford made it affordable for the working man which made the 1920s the blooming era for cars.

The Drive to Drive

Okay, the history lesson is over, let’s look at getting a car, so we’ll start from the basics.

Unless you are the Queen of England, you’ll need a licence to drive in a registered roadworthy vehicle. Seriously, the Queen has no licence and cruises around the UK in unregistered vehicles. Sheesh!

But then again, how do you register a gold horse-drawn carriage that only comes out for Royal weddings?

I bet reverse parking is a challenge in a carriage?

Many kids in the bush learn to drive long before they become of age to get a licence which is 16 in Australia. They’ll even drive themselves to visit the local bush cops and do it all there at the Station. Easy as.

Unfortunately for those in the city, I’m sure many are familiar with the long queues at the many vehicle registration centres. It’s a worldwide phenomenon.

But it’s all the same…

You study and sit for a test learning about road rules.

If you pass you get a permit to learn to drive.

You then progress to scare your parents, who get you a driving instructor to terrorise the suburbs or the local hardware store’s open car park.

Then, you have to pass the driving test.

If you kill no one and follow the rules, you get the golden ticket to drive.

(And that’s when you find out how much insurance premiums suck!)

Hypnotised For The Highway

Everyone has that car of their dreams.

We all dream of either driving that Ferrari down the highway, or the convertibles with the top down, or for taking that beefy black jeep off-road. That is until reality usually kicks in and your budget forces you to scan the local paper for the best deals or…

(*drumroll)

you visit the…

You dare to visit a Car-deal-ologist. Tweet This.

The Hubcap Hustler

What are are they?

They are the lurking hazards inside every car yard, that wouldn’t be the most romantic of places for a first date? It could be if you can’t phone a friend, your dad, or find your favourite petrolhead to go with you to buy a car. Or you could call your local car club to inspect one for you. At the very least, they’ll shield you from the car salesman.

Why do car salesmen have such a bad rap?

Because they pounce on you as soon as you enter the car yard and may make you buy something you don’t want. They never ever tell you the faults on the car you’re shelling out cash for, or the crippling loan fees. They’re shady. Slippery. Sellers. With silver tongues of the trade.

They’re shady. Slippery. Sellers. With silver tongues of the trade…the HubCap Hustlers Tweet this

Many movies show these people as wheeling and dealing scene stealers, making it worse for those legitimately working in this trade.

Or do they do that to themselves?

The Quickie Carpark Version Of Car Categories

So, you’ve plucked up the courage to walk into a car yard and are faced with many choices. It’s shopping for brands in a whole new way with an endless choice of sizes, styles, fuel economy, etc, etc.

Let’s break-down to where vehicles are basically based on body sizes and shapes:

Sedans—two doors or a four-door car is the most popular.

Hatchbacks—the shorter version of station wagons, think no boot in the back.

Coupe’s—they’re the sleek, sporty two-door cars.

Convertibles—very rare in the outback! Gotta watch that sunburn factor.

Muscle cars—Think bad boys who keep one of these as an extension of their wardrobe.

MPV or MUP—Huh? Fancy words for Multi-purpose-vehicle or Multi-utility-vehicle. AKA the mini-vans, the people movers, the team car, that has the power to carry a bunch of soccer kids and their balls at once.

The SUV—Sports Utility Vehicle. Why? What sport do they play? How tough would it be driving through suburbia to softball practice? Not knocking the SUV, but it’s also known as part of the Suburban Assault vehicles and the Soft-off-roaders preference of choice.

Sports car categories include Muscle cars, Pony cars (think mustang), Convertibles (again I mention these), Race cars, SUV’s, Coupes…

4wd and AWD—these are common for off-roaders or for those that enjoy a rural lifestyle.

Utility 2wd/ 4wd utility AKA THE UTE.

Beyond the Carpark’s Standard Categories

Commercial Vans, camper vans, and those that converted the commercial van into a camper van for van life.

Then, hitching onto the back of this list, we have the small trucks through to the big road trains seen on the outback’s open highways.

So, which category would a Humvee stretch limousine fit under?

What about Solar cars that drive from Darwin through the red centre deserts to the city of Adelaide for 3000 km World Solar Challenge, they look like grounded spaceships.

That Maiden Voyage

So, you’ve fallen in love with a car, bartered with the car salesman, and survived. You’ve danced with the banks and signed so many forms you feel like a movie star autographing everything, and you finally got those keys in hand.

You’ve danced with the banks and signed so many forms you feel like a movie star autographing everything, Tweet This

And it’s the car’s maiden voyage home.

Do you remember your first solo drive of your new car? Bet it was slow and steady.

There was no smashing a bottle of champagne over the bonnet. No fanfare. No waving flags. Unless those fluttering flags or waving kite puppet found in the car yard is part of your exit party.

But congratulations, you now own a car and prepare to roll out of the car yard.

The Naming of the Chariot

Gripping that steering wheel for the first time, turning the key as you slide back into the seat. You adjust the mirrors, the seat, the tunes as if you’re introducing yourself to a new friend.

It’s just like welcoming a new member to the family, they all have names. It’s part of the process where naming your chariot is chosen with care, or it’s a nickname developed over time. Individual family names for cars last for generations, even from owner to owner, long after they’ve retired to the junkyard the garage in the sky.

Popular pet names for vehicles:

Most of us have nicknames for our cars, right? Well, here’s a few of the many…

Betty/ Betsy—for most things Ford.

Bertie Beetles—not the chocolates, but the Volkswagen. Also known as The Bug, to Bugsie.

The Beast—surprisingly the name of tiny cars, they’re like chihuahuas on wheels. Or it could be a beast like in THE ART OF DUST.

Bertha for big beasts also called Tanks or Yank Tanks (American cars).

Troopie—troop carrier—and not the army beasts, these are 4×4 people carriers. They’re quite common in the NT.

Ol’ girl, Ol’ lady, Ol’ mate, Ol’ friend

Big girl

Little Beauty

Ute, Beaut Ute, Uterus—the utility a strange Aussie legend most frequented in the outback chasing after the fierce drop-bears feared by many tourists.

Rustbucket, Rusty, Red, then typically Aussie’s switch it to Blu.

Suzi—is for the Suzuki.

Sally, Stang—for Mustang, the car, not the horse.

The Nav (sometimes Nev/ Neville)—for the Navara’s.

Cruiser, Bruiser, Landie—not footy players, but it’s code for the Landcruiser; or Landie for Landrover.

Ranga—not the redheads, but for the Rangers.

Precious—take your pick!

Lemons—not for being yellow, but for being a car that won’t behave.

Pearl—for most white cars.

Babe, and or, Baby, is the most popular name that men call their car. In THE ART OF DUST, Kyle calls his muscle car Baby.

B, Bee, Bumblebee—for anything yellow.

Big Red—anything red

Foxy—for most silver cars.

Hi-lux; Lo-lux; She-lux; Re-flux; de-lux; Big-bux… Found on most numberplates advertising their Hilux’s pet name.

Merc—for Mr Benz’s Mercedes.

Beemer—BMW

Kwaka—Kawasaki, this is for motorbikes.

FORD = Found on Rubbish Dumps says all those in the Holden fan-camp.

Missin’ Nissan (swap the M for a P for the other crude version)

Bits are missing—Mitsubishi and another crude term, look away… Bits-a-sh**ty

Landcruiser Dreaming—the local dump filled with many carcasses of metallic beasts who have long retired.

Babe magnet, chick magnet—the muscle car.

Backseat driver—I’ve mentioned before and it’s a worldwide phenomenon.

Whiskey Wagon, Rum Runner, Bundy Bruiser, Bush Basher, Scrub Skidder—these are the bush cars that rarely drive on the roads, registered, but know the true meaning of adventure.

If you haven’t got a name for your car and want one, try this app!

Car superstitions

I covered why they tied shoes on the back of wedding cars leaving for their honeymoon before, but did you know it’s common for many to keep a lucky charm of some sort in their car? I know I do.

Here are a few other customs in cars:

♥️Clean your car for Chinese New year to rid the bad luck and make way for the good luck

♥️keep the windows open for New Year’s Eve to let the bad out and the new in.

♥️Holding your breath driving past a graveyard so the spirits don’t hitch a ride home. Many do it.

♥Scratching your brand-new car first is to ward against others and for luck against accidents.

♥Tossing coins onto the floor of the new car (second-hand cars included) for luck by friends and family, and for future parking change if needed.

♥The Chinese put notes in red envelopes for luck in their cars, no matter how old these vehicles are.

Your Car’s Life-Journey

Cars are a part of today’s culture and the props for many memorable moments of our lives like:

🚗That first drive

🚗Your first car

🚗The first kiss in the car after a first date (and we’ll keep it clean from here)

🚗That nervous drive to your wedding , and the escape to the honeymoon.

🚗The first drive bringing home the new baby, worrying if the car seat is put in properly and why does everyone have to drive like homicidal maniacs.

🚗Driving to a new home, or back home.

🚗Driving on that trip down memory lane to revisit your hometown or wherever the journey of life takes you.

🚗And then there is the final silent drive to the cemetery…

The vehicle, no matter what kind or type you’ve had over the years, it is a part of today’s lifestyle for almost everyone.

The Romance Of The Car

Some may question if I am obsessed with the car. Well, when it comes to my stories…

In AVOIDING THE PITY PARTY, a sassy Grandmother crazily drives our heroine in a scene that is considered the most popular driving scene by my readers.

In THE FOOTBALL WHISPERER, our hero goes for a ride in a ute that completely changes his world. He helps rescue a horse, and meets a family of misfits, just by being a passenger in his story.

In UNPLANNED PARTY, our heroine, Emma, is a party planner who’s had her Parte` work van stolen, and discovers her phobia against car yards.

In THE ART OF DUST, it’s a mission to restore a much-loved humble ute before her owner dies and the history many share with this one humble vehicle.

In Caked in Dust we have an outrageous outback car race unlike any other.

And, in Muster in The Dust there’s a vehicle’s history that is being used to create a future.

And this is just a snippet of how the humble turn of the wheel creates an impact in my stories. I know there’s many more to come, so why not see how the rest of the story unfolds HERE.

Do you have a memorable moment behind the wheel or an unusual pet name for your car you want to share?